All Local, All The Time
All Local, All The Time
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APRIL 1—In what seems to be a huge reversal in previous policy and operating procedures, Extinction Oil & Gas is finally responding to the thousands of complaints received about the health and environmental effects of hydraulic fracturing, or fracking. “Starting in late 2019,” said a spokesperson for the company, “for every mineral lease agreement signed, we will give two free bottles of Booste-brand oxygen to each participant, along with a coupon book for Jumba Juice. That’s healthy, right?” Booste Oxygen is a canned, compressed oxygen prod...
APRIL 1—The prairie dogs of White Rocks have recently served notice of mandatory forced pooling to some Heatherwood residents, invoking the Colorado state statute that will allow them to burrow underneath homes adjacent to their current colony between White Rocks and Kincross Way. Residents along Kincross Way received notice of the prairie dog colony’s intent to begin burrowing underneath their homes within the next nine months, according to a heated and somewhat panicky thread on NextDoor Hea...
