Boulder County scientist makes breakthrough (FAKE NEWS)

Jeremy Tapps, a researcher who operates from a lab in his south Longmont basement, has made a discovery that has turned the scientific world upside down.

Tapps’ work has found that what we know as the “periodic table of elements” is — in fact — not periodic at all.

“Whether you believe in the ‘Big Bang’ or creationism, no one can deny that these elements have existed since the beginning of the universe,” Tapps said. “It’s as plain as day, and somewhat shocking that we haven’t realized this until now.

“Things like helium or silver aren’t ‘periodically’ helium or silver, they are and always have been helium and silver. This holds true with all elements on the table.”

His report, which is scheduled for print in the peer-reviewed scientific journal “Finding the Obvious,” includes what he claims as proof that these elements have always existed and don’t simply stay around for a period of time.

“To me, it’s as simple as that,” Tapps said. “Gold doesn’t stop being gold for a little while and then turn back into gold.”

The idea of labeling elements has existed since ancient times, but our modern version was most notably developed by Russian chemist Dmitri Mendeleev in 1869.

It has since been modified many times, including changes made by English physicist Henry Moseley in 1914, and by American Glenn Seaborg while working on the Manhattan Project that developed the nuclear bomb.

Though physicists and those in other scientific disciplines haven’t been able to read the full study by Tapps, doubt is already emerging.

Bjorn Andersson, a renowned Swedish physicist operating out of the Colorado School of Mines, was instantly skeptical.

“This has been an accepted table for centuries,” Andersson said. “I don’t think we need to change everything because one person points out and proves an obvious fact.”

Colorado State Senator Jimmy Chance (R-Colorado Springs), agrees with Andersson’s sentiment.

“The implications of this go beyond science,” Chance said. “If the world accepts this new model, we’ll have to replace every earth science textbook in every school, every poster on the wall in every single classroom.

“We’re already facing cuts to education. Those posters are at least $5 each, the textbooks are $40 or more. As a state, we can’t afford to spend that kind of money.”

Chance and Andersson also pointed out that new revelations and information can be dangerous.

“If what we’ve believed to be true for centuries is proven wrong, who is to say that the world as we know it is completely wrong?” Andersson said.

In the joint press conference where both were present to speak against Tapps’ findings, Chance declined to answer questions, but ended with a statement.

“We, as a society, have to accept what we’ve been told our whole lives,” Chance said with an air of conviction. “There is no need to question anything about our world, let alone the universe. It is not our business to inform people of ‘facts,’ it is our job to maintain the status quo. It has worked so far to advance our country. This is just another example of logic that does nothing besides stir the pot.

“Rogue research that is not funded by corporate interests or the government is a detriment to our country, and I, for one, will not stand for it.”

Brain Looper is another local skeptic who said he can’t fathom the idea.

“My seventh-grade science teacher was a woman that I hold in high regard,” Looper said. “Tapps was in the same class as I was. For him to come out and say this, to be blunt, is flat-out disrespectful. I’ve done my own research — which publishers have turned down so far — and these findings simply do not adhere to what we’ve been told.

“Science isn’t something that grows and changes as we gain more knowledge. It is something that is locked in, regardless of what someone finds to be a ‘fact,’ or as I like to call these discoveries, ‘alternative facts.’”