COVID woes add to holiday stress

It is often most difficult to feel happy or excited, at times when everyone is pressured to do so. The holiday season has always marked a time of joy, peace and hope; thus, it is expected of everyone to share such sentiments. However, amidst all of the polarization of this year caused by the global pandemic, widespread riots and one of the most divided elections in U.S. history, it is sometimes difficult for any individual to exhibit the traditional spirit of the holidays.

There are two obvious stressors that are affecting families across the nation as we approach the holidays this year. One stress factor is the financial burden brought on by coronavirus, especially for families with kids. The pandemic has only added weight to our shoulders as many parents have lost jobs or have had to settle for a lower income position than previously expected.

The psychological effects of this loss in financial stability can wreak havoc on those who consider themselves to be providers of their household. This is evident in our nation's history from men abandoning their families during the Great Depression due to losing work, or the increase in suicide since the pandemic started. In an article titled "COVID-19 and the risk of suicide," the Mayo Clinic Staff reported under 'work-related concerns' that one reason people

are led down this dark road is the "worry about how you'll provide basic needs for yourself and your family if you're out of work for an unpredictable amount of time or if you lose your job." This fear of providing can cause a sense of hopelessness and failure, especially during a time where even our nation's leaders don't seem to have sensible answers. Thus, the addition of the cost of Christmas presents to the family budget only adds to this year's financial and mental turmoil.

With the financial burden brought on by the pandemic, the most valuable and often most difficult solution is to reach out for help. There are multiple organizations from non-profits to churches that hold gift drives each year to help out families that are struggling.

Boulder County offers its Family-to-Family Holiday Program which donates gifts to financially struggling families. Boulder County also has a Share-a-Gift Toy Drive with multiple locations throughout the area. There is also the Kindness for Kids organization, which gives out gift cards for toys for kids in the Longmont area. Another solution is to build your own gifts from materials already in your house or that are really cheap to buy.

There are a ton of resources online with great ideas to make your own gifts that are functional and meaningful. One place to start is on YouTube with a video titled "10 DIY CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAYGIFTS (that people can ACTUALLY use)."

The other burden heading into this year's holidays is the decision whether to let people into your home, or to close your doors due to the reasonable fear of contracting the coronavirus. State governments and health organizations have all issued rather similar guidelines since before Thanksgiving.

Some states have enacted strict guidelines to out of state travelers making it nearly impossible for any out of state family members to join the holiday celebration in person. Parents longing to see their children have ultimately been put in a position where such gatherings may not be feasible under the umbrella of public safety. And to add to the challenge of making this decision is the plethora of officials creating these guidelines that have been

caught breaking them -- from California Governor Gavin Newsom hosting an indoors and non-socially distanced dinner party, to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi snagging a maskless

haircut in a San Francisco salon when the rest of the city was barred from doing so, to Denver Mayor Michael Hancock traveling out of state for Thanksgiving when others were told to stay at home, to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announcing that his mother and two daughters would be travelling to his residence for Thanksgiving, while everyone else in the state was told not to do so.

Amidst the confusion that's kept us in the dark for the past nine months, one truth still remains when it comes to having people over or not -- it's your choice. The only considerations to make are the consequences of choosing to have people over or not. The obvious negative consequence is the spread of the coronavirus which can keep people from work for weeks, or put certain people, particularly the elderly, in the hospital in a fight for their lives. A positive consequence could be the psychological effect of spending time with people you love.

The question is, what is the actual cost? This is a problem you'll have to solve yourself. The choice is yours, and if you need help guiding your decision, read "Moral Responsibility" by the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.

Even if you receive help from others financially or you decide to carry on with Christmas as normal, the mental toll that the pandemic and this year have brought on the public is tremendous.

One resource is an article titled, "Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping," by the Mayo Clinic Staff. "Acknowledge your feelings," the staff wrote. It's normal to feel sadness and grief during these times and it's ok to express that.

Another tip from the staff is to "reach out." If you're feeling helpless, alone and afraid, talk to a family member, friend, pastor or whoever you trust and express exactly how you're feeling.

"Learn to say no," the staff wrote. If family or friends are pressuring you to go somewhere and you don't feel safe, it's okay to say no. It's better to stay safe than to go somewhere and feel overwhelmed with anxious thoughts.

Finally, "Seek professional help if you need it." Sometimes our efforts simply aren't enough to combat the emotional turmoil. If you're experiencing a prolonged decline in mental health, talk to your doctor.

Don't allow outside conditions of the world to determine your inner conditions. Plan ahead, make informed decisions, do your best for your families, and set your own expectations for Christmas this year.