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High-end housing development to use compost for green heat

Series: April Fools | Story 9

April 1 Boulder Country – There may be a green light at the end of the tunnel for the proposed and then possibly canceled Rainbow Composting Facility. Although the application was removed, the project may have new life.

The new take is a proposed upscale housing development which would be, at the very least, heated from Rainbow Composting Facility "gas" emissions.

The End of the Rainbow development, while in preliminary planning stages, has attracted a lot of interest from as far away as Kansas. Originally acquired as open space, the land also presented itself as a top priority for the future of any zero-waste infrastructure, which would support its climate action priority with the establishment of a mega-compost pile.

As for the genesis for this endeavor, county staffer Thomas Foolery said, "The real genius came from a conversation with Green at All Costs Development. While there's funding from the sustainability tax passed in 2016, which had 70% voter approval, it was quickly pointed out to me that we could make some more money by approving a state-of-the-art, ultra-green, high-end housing development."

The conservation easement was originally purchased in 1994 by Boulder Country for the then princely sum of $169,625, with an option to buy the fee title, which was later exercised.

A bit of digging near the dark web turned up some interesting alchemy. Turns out there is a bit of magic that will convert heat from the estimated 125 million pounds of animal manure, food waste and human biosolids produced by the pets and residents of the development into an energy source that can be piped into these homes. There would be industrial strength filters for any objectionable odors.

Foolery said he was a bit taken aback by the negative reception from the Town of Eerie and a few neighbors whose property borders the proposed site. "We thought this would be a pleasant surprise for them," Foolery added. "No one saw any of the lawsuits coming or even had a hint that anyone would be upset."

He added that he hoped this new-concept housing project would change minds.

As for the proposed high-end houses, Foolery said that many of the trees which still line the property can be transplanted and used as a blind or shield to block the view of the massive buildings the compost site will need.

"We're also looking into transplanting the wetlands so that it creates an environmentally safe and interesting backyard for these houses. One of the downsides would be that having a basement in this development would not be recommended. I'm sure that we can get height variances if owners want to go up several stories."

In a leaked document, it appears the developers are having fun with the street names, with proposals such as Dorothy Way, Toto Drive and Pot of Gold Parkway. They were also considering Lucky Charms Avenue, but thought there might be some trademark issues with a certain cereal company. One unnamed developer added, "We don't want to step on any corporate toes and would like to avoid all lawsuits."

Email exchanges between the developers indicate that states are not being considered as street names, with one developer responding, "We're not in Kansas anymore."

 

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