Rockin' Rails to feature rap and hip-hop

Organizers of the popular Rockin' Rails concert series announced that the new lineup will feature rap and hip-hop artists this summer.

"The Sooper Bowl half-time show was so popular that we decided to save face and add some hip-hoppers and wrappers this summer," event co-manager Dan Eagle said. "We've asked our booking agent to bring in Snoopy Dog and M&M to oblige some requests from Mary J. We're ready for the next episode."

"The classic rockers are getting a bit long in the tooth, and we need something to liven up the crowd," co-manager Micki Vaurer said. "The long run of some bands has to come to an end at some point, and we have to be legitimate by Thursday nights. These hippity-hoppers might be the last men on earth you would expect to be popular here, but who knows, when you get to know them one-on-one, they've got a good mojo for all the mamas out there. We've had some strange birds in the past, with Joe Payasyougo on bass and a lot of girls on top. We just want to keep it a family affair and shake it up a bit."

Not everyone was on board with the change, and some of the neighbors were a bit apprehensive. "I'm getting a bit tired of those Eagle songs," Allison Bent said. "I ain't mad at you," she said, "but we don't need no more drama."

Booking agent Shameer DeMarcoPolo is busy making contacts with possible performers. In related news, the co-managers announced that drinks would be 50 cents on rap concert nights.

"Alright, let's get it started," co-manager Warren Bliss said. "This is still D.R.E. – Down Right Epic."