Let's Talk About...First Dates

Ok. Let's talk about first dates. To be clear, I haven't had a first date in over 30 years. So, I am no expert on the experience. Although I may be out of practice, I know one when I see one.

How many times have you gone to a restaurant and seen a couple and thought, "Oh, look how cute, a first date." So sweet, right? Well, yes. And sometimes, no. Is it sweet or sometimes painful? Did someone swipe right when they should have swiped left? Oops.

First, let's review how to spot a first date. Well, first, often one of the two people is grossly overdressed, and one is grossly underdressed. Ripped jeans and a hoodie sitting next to a one-shouldered sparkly top and heels. You just know they didn't come from the same household. And you know from their body language they don't seem to be in sync like they would be on, say, their 4th date. For example, one is slurping while the other barely touches their food. One leans way forward and the other leans way back. You've seen it.

First dates sometimes are characterized by quick smiles, nervous laughter, and extreme politeness. Sweet. But here's the thing. Often, I notice one of the two is talking. And talking. And won't stop talking. Uh oh. Bad sign. Painful

When one person does all the talking, you can just sense the eye roll from across the table. And you know he or she (or let's just say it, it's usually he, but I have seen it both ways) is going on and on about himself, clearly exaggerating his accomplishments, his job, his exercise schedule, his ex-girlfriend, his dog and how much he can lift. It goes on. And on. And on. Like an interview with no questions. All the while, his date plasters on a smile while subtly looking at her phone every three minutes to check how close an Uber is. You just know she is wondering, "Why didn't I just agree to coffee?"

Here is some advice from someone who had a first date with someone that led to 30 years of subsequent dates: Take a breath, man. Talk less, listen more. And try to be more interested than interesting. Give it a shot. Who knows where that might lead?