County Commissioners abolish Daylight Savings Time

The Boulder County Commissioners met for an emergency meeting on Saturday, April 1, to abolish Daylight Savings Time in Boulder County. Daylight Savings Time was enacted during World War I to conserve energy and has been the law in most states in the U.S., including Colorado since that time.

Commissioner Angela Silverman said, “It is time we take back our role as a governing entity and abolish antiquated laws that adversely impact our citizens and wildlife.” Sean Wilcox of the Boulder County Parks and Open Space Department testified at the meeting, saying, “The impact of Daylight Savings Time on our local flora and fauna is catastrophic. The birds are confused and refuse to build proper nests. Eagles are flying out of their habitat and landing on Interstate 25. The results speak for themselves.” He added, “Crocuses, tulips and other spring flowers are dying en masse because they are trying to bloom in the dark.”

It was reported that the DST measure came after consultation with many local governmental and community agencies including Niwot’s MLB, NHL, MLS and LIDD.

Local farmers were on hand to echo the sentiment. John Forbes of Niwot stated, “We are in the middle of calving season and my cows are having a real hard time.” Local arborist Jason Dunning testified, “Deciduous trees are at a tipping point where new leaves are coming in and fail to thrive due to the time change.”

Commissioner Clark Livid said, “Enough is enough. Boulder County is a model community for many towns across the United States. We need to set the standard and take back the reins on this outdated tradition. We serve the entire county, and the majority of people just don’t like Daylight Savings Time.”

The ramifications have yet to be determined but University of Colorado Boulder City Planning Professor Julie Mayhem said, “The implications are vast. Driving into Larimer or Weld County will be a change in time zones. We must consider the service industry people and their need to have a consistent means to communicate time.”

Assistant Professor James Croce, Jr. added, “Restaurant reservations, service appointments, heck, all appointments, will be thrown into chaos. They say it will help, but that’s not the way it feels. This is bad, bad. What’s my friend Leroy Brown going to do? You can’t just put time in a bottle.”

Others were more resigned to the change, including Professor Croce’s former girlfriend, Misty Beethoven, who said, “I've overcome the blow, I've learned to take it well, I only wish my words could just convince myself that it just isn’t real, but that's not the way it feels.”

Although no lawsuits have been filed to date, the Americans for Time stated on their website, “We cannot let a few local politicians dictate something so precious as timekeeping. We cannot stand by and let local governments change a fundamental precept in our society. We will take action.”

This is a developing story.