Let's Talk About...Telephones

Ok. Look down at your phone. You know that little piece of wonder we used to call a "telephone?" Chances are, you are already doing that.

Do you know anyone who doesn't have a cell phone? Probably not. What used to be our primary form of connection to the outside world has now become almost our only connection to the outside world and our main source of communication, information, and entertainment. Phones today put the Encyclopedia Britannica out of business.

Where would we be without our ubiquitous smart phones? We wouldn't be able to get in touch with anyone anytime and anywhere, whether by text, email or voice? But really, when was the last time you actually called a friend? Or your mom? And spoke?

Without your phone, you wouldn't be able to google any random thought that comes into your mind, like the capital of Indonesia, or what the weather will be next Saturday. Or listen to any music that pops in your head.

We wouldn't be able to know exactly where our kids are at any moment. We wouldn't be able to play "Words with Friends" on a bus. What a miraculous invention! Or is it?

Let's review. The phone used to be a box attached to your kitchen wall with a long stretched out cord that wrapped around the bend into your pantry for a teenager's privacy.

When rotary phones were replaced with push button phones we thought this was the pinnacle of phone technology. And let's not forget phone booths. They were the only way to call your parents on the road to tell them you would be late for dinner. And you actually needed coins to use it. Who has coins anymore?

Then came the first "mobile phones." That big chunky brick of a phone attached to your car that had iffy connections and charged you by the minute. Then the mobile phone became truly mobile though no less bulky. Soon, the smaller the better and flip phones were in vogue.

Now, with the whole internet in your pocket, bigger is better. Who thought we'd watch movies on our phone?

Does anyone even remember when a landline was a thing? Of course, we didn't know it was a "landline," it was just a telephone. What began with "Mr. Watson, come here. I need you," became a box with a horn you cranked and got an operator (a real person), shared party lines and had a 3-digit phone number (or less).

Before area codes, there were "exchanges" denoted by letters that wound up something like "Rochester 3-1212." That meant 763-1212. Why not just say that? What was up with that? Numbers weren't sufficient?

An incoming long-distance call created a hush over the house. It was a big deal, and expensive. We thought we hit the jackpot with call waiting and 2-way calling. Who knew we would soon be talking through earbuds on planes, in restaurants and while walking the dog?

Remember before you had a computer in your pocket, you had to find a phone number from the Yellow (business) or White (personal) Pages? Or, preferably, calling that friendly lady at the other end of dialing 411 who answered with, "Hello, directory assistance, can I help you?"

What a job! Listening to everyone with their odd questions, emergencies, and jokes: "Is your refrigerator running? 'Yes.' Well, you better go catch it," was one of my siblings' favorites.

I have a friend who used to be a directory assistance operator. She has great stories about that time but the best thing I learned from her is from her training: "Flip, sweep and scan."

In other words, flip open the White/Yellow pages to the appropriate tab, sweep the side of the book to the right page and then scan for the information with your finger. We could all benefit from that exercise today.

Instead, you just ask Siri or Alexa to call someone for you. Of course, that means no one knows anyone's phone number by heart. If the internet goes down or your phone battery is at 5%, don't you panic a little bit?

The phonebook has now become Facebook.

What started as a party line has become the whole party.

Alexander Graham Bell and Steve Jobs would be so proud.