Let's Talk About...Being Sick

Ok. I have Covid. I have no idea where I got it since I barely go anywhere. But what I do know is that Covid is no fun. And not funny. I know some people have mild cases, others have serious symptoms, and many have long term effects. In my case, so far, it is like a bad cold. I'm fine.

I am one of those lucky people who rarely get sick. My husband, on the other hand, just has to hear that a cold or flu or a stomach ailment is "going around" and he starts coming down with every symptom. So being sick now reminds me about the sharp contrast between when I get sick, and when my husband gets sick.

And here's the thing. An informal poll of my friends (male and female) brings me to this conclusion: Generally speaking, boys are frail. Girls are tough. The proof is when they get a cold. Let me explain.

When I have a cold, I pretend it is not there. It takes a couple of days for me to even acknowledge it has taken over my body. I take care of the laundry. I work, cook, shower (which always makes me feel better) and go about my business as best I can.

Why? Why not just lie down, drink plenty of liquids and get some rest? I think partly, I am in denial that I am really sick. Partly, I don't want to have to catch up when I feel better. And mainly, it is the power of positive thinking.

If you act like you feel normal, chances are you will feel more normal.

In contrast, when my husband is sick, his world comes to a screeching halt. He lies down on the bed, turns on the TV, gets out a book and he will just stay there. For a long time. I am talking days. And that's with just a cold.

He eats there, reads there, and sleeps there. And apparently is too weak to function or shower. For example, I often hear a feeble, "Can you hand me the remote?" Oh, and let's not forget he needs a thermometer at the ready. The thermometer is in near constant use and he reports any fluctuation in temperature on a 30-minute basis. Why?

My feeling is, what difference does it make if your temperature is 99 or 100? Treat the symptoms. It's just a number (yes, a really high temperature is of great concern, but we are talking about a run-of-the-mill cold here, not typhoid). Announcing your temperature every 30 minutes doesn't change anything. It just reinforces that you are sick. But you already know that.

What is up with the contrast? Are men really babies? Are women in self-denial or just really tough?

I think the answers are (1) yes and (2) really tough.

For example, after childbirth, women go home the next day having had their insides split in two with no prospect of a good night's sleep for at least three years. There will be no lollygagging in bed for days, no soft lights, no tip-toeing around. That takes a heap of tough.

Ok. I am grumpy. And I am sneezing on my keyboard. And I am in quarantine.

On the other hand, my husband is the caregiver of the two of us. Candy is the dominant food group when my husband nurses me back to health. Not orange juice, leafy green vegetables, or fruits high in antioxidants. No. Candy. Like full sized candy bars. And not just one or two. More like six. Seriously. I tell him it's unhealthy and sabotages my diet. But it's his "love language." So ok.

In contrast, my "love language" is "get over it." I set down a bowl of soup and crackers next to the bed, provide a tall glass of water and two ibuprofen and say, "Call me if you need me." Then go about my business as best as I can.

Sometimes there is not much difference between being sick and taking care of the sick. But I would always rather not be sick. Which is probably why I rarely am. But not today. By the way, my husband feels fine. Go figure.