Let's Talk About...Gift Giving

Let's talk about gift giving. 'Tis the season, after all. But, whether it's Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, a birthday, a baby shower, or a wedding, gift giving can be fraught with peril.

Gift choices seem to fall into two camps: Easy and hard.

When offered a gift registry, it is easy. You simply look at the price point, the category and decide. Help for a honeymoon? Part of a $1000 stroller? Or a cookie sheet. You know it will be welcome and the recipient will be pleased because, well, they picked it out.

Sometimes if you are lucky, you just know what someone wants. Like you know if your son really wants a new keyboard and he links it to you. Instant success.

However, more often than not, you have to come up with ideas out of thin air. This can be hard. Do you consider what someone might "want?" Or do you think it is best to give someone what they "need?"

Giving what you think someone needs is a minefield, my friend. You may really think they need something, but what you don't know is that they really don't want what they need. For example, you think someone "needs" a new sweater because they wear the same one every day. Don't do it. There is no upside. They will either be insulted or hate it.

Similarly, giving a hair removal system to your sister-in-law might be taken the wrong way. Even if she needs it. And for that matter, wants it. So that is a "no." Trust me.

So, if "need" is not the driving factor, what do people really want as a gift? That is a tough question.

Well, cash is king when it comes to your cleaning people, mail carrier, hair stylist, gardener, wait staff, and other people who take care of you all year. Easy.

Everyone wants a new experience, but a trip to the Amazon or tickets to see Taylor Swift may be out of the budget.

How are we feeling about gift cards? The big plus is the recipient can buy what they like, assuming you picked the right store. I still have a Cabela's gift card from 2002.

The downside? Gift cards aren't really that personal, I think. Would it be better to buy the air fryer or give a gift card for an air fryer which will ultimately be used for a mixer? We could debate this all day but, in the end, gift cards are easy and will result in what the recipient wants. But they don't deliver much bang for your buck.

We know what we don't want to give. Men don't want ties anymore. Socks and underwear are always welcome, but I am not sure they really count.

The days of the singing Big Mouth Billy Bass are thankfully long gone.

Then there are soaps, candles, and lotions. Does anyone really want those? Maybe. It's hard to know.

And then there is the question of how much is too much, or too little? You buy your sister that sleek black leather jacket and she gives you a Taylor Swift friendship bracelet. Awkward.

My girlfriend and I exchange our top beauty products of the year. A thoughtful and interesting premise. But it can backfire when you give her your favorite lip balm and she gives you the entire Obagi line of products and a free consultation to a plastic surgeon. Again, I don't need reminding of certain things I "need."

In the end, gift giving is a conundrum. Maybe what we choose doesn't really matter. There is a reason people say, "The gift is in the giving." You really can't go wrong because it feels good to give and it is always heartwarming to be remembered.

Recently I received a beautiful plate of cookies I neither needed or wanted. But it didn't matter. I was just grateful someone thought of me.

Ultimately, the best gift is the gift of time. Regular phone calls, lunch with your friend, watching "Elf" together (but only if they like "Elf"), shopping dates, breakfast on a Monday, or a trip to Mississippi to see them. Time is a gift we can give all year which gives both the giver and receiver happiness and memories.

No matter the occasion, my favorite gift is time spent together and the hope for more.

Wishing you a happy memorable time with your friends and family this holiday season and all year long.