Let's Talk About...Artificial Intelligence

Ok. How do we feel about artificial intelligence? First, the term "artificial intelligence" sounds like something from outer space to me. So, I approach the whole concept with some trepidation at the outset.

Artificial intelligence, or "A.I.," has many common uses including self-driving vehicles, fraud detection by your bank and facial recognition. And don't forget that our friends, Alexa and Siri, are complete products of artificial intelligence.

But, for now, let's talk about the kind of A.I. commonly used to generate term papers, marketing brochures, recipes, and articles. Have you tried it? Basically, you ask the program to write something and out it pops.

Is this even ethical? Is it cheating? I suppose it depends on your point of view. If your purpose is to demonstrate personal knowledge or personal expression, then probably A.I. is not a good idea.

On the other hand, if it is used to generate generic expression of known facts, it is probably not that controversial. But don't forget, "artificial" is another word for "fake." Like fake news or fake photos. However, A.I. itself has no intent, but those using it do.

Many have embraced the use of A.I. wholeheartedly because, well, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Some teachers even require their students to use A.I. since it seems the writing is on the wall, so to speak.

So, I gave it a go.

I asked Microsoft Copilot and ChatGPT to write two articles for me. Full disclosure: Copilot has access to the internet and ChatGPT does not, except through Bing which I don't use. In other words, I asked A.I. to go out to the internet and scoop up all my "Let's Talk About..." columns and write two for me on the requested topics.

The first topic was to compare Hellman's mayonnaise to Best Foods mayonnaise.

The second topic was to discuss the chances of the Cubs winning the World Series (again) this year.

It was a test of both personal expression and facts.

First of all, let me be clear. Hellman's mayonnaise and Best Foods mayonnaise are the same thing. So, it was kind of a trick question. One is sold on the West Coast, and one is sold on the East Coast. Since we are in the middle, we get to choose either. And although some people prefer one over the other, I would say it is simply a branding issue. The Best Foods and Hellman's brands are owned by the same company and use the same recipe. Basically.

Google it. Anyway, that's me talking.

ChatGPT had different ideas. It said I would say, "One of the primary points of contention between aficionados of these mayo magnates is texture. Some swear by the velvety smoothness of Hellman's, praising its spreadability and ability to seamlessly integrate into recipes. Others champion the slightly firmer consistency of Best Foods, arguing that it provides a more substantial mouthfeel and enhances the overall dining experience."

I would never say that. Ever. And I don't think it is true. So that's a fail on both counts.

Copilot, on the other hand, did a better job.

It said I would say, "Let's peek under the mayo hood, shall we? Best Foods wields soybean oil, egg yolks, and vinegar. A classic trio, harmonizing like a jazz trio at a smoky speakeasy. Now, Hellmann's counters with soybean oil, whole eggs, and distilled vinegar. A subtle twist, akin to a saxophone solo in a moonlit jazz club. Both sprinkle in sugar and salt, but Hellmann's tiptoes with less sweetness. A delicate dance, indeed."

Closer! Especially the "delicate dance" and the "moonlit jazz club" parts. I wish I could have thought of either of those expressions. But I still don't believe the recipes are different. Why?

Because the Google said so.

So, if we are keeping score, both programs failed to capture the two things that were requested: 1. The truth, and 2. What is only in my head.

Which is ultimately the takeaway. Self-expression has to have some "self" involved.

On to the Cubs winning the World Series. Major League fail here.

ChatGPT said, among other things, "While the road to championship glory may be fraught with obstacles, there is no denying the potential inherent within the Chicago Cubs organization."

Wow, I almost fell asleep.

Copilot was better. After talking about Ian Happ patrolling center field like "a hawk with wings outstretched" and Yan Gomes' "cannon arm firing warning shots to would-be thieves," it said I would exclaim, "Cubs, those eternal optimists, march forth. Fate, capricious and beguiling, awaits its next muse."

Wow. I wouldn't say any of that, but I kind of wish I would.

The bottom line is, first, don't believe everything you read. Second, access to the internet is essential in our world and in the A.I. world. Third, personal expression is personal and can't be duplicated without the "personal" part.

A Copilot said, "Is A.I. a malevolent specter, haunting the halls of academia? Or a muse, whispering forgotten sonnets to weary writers? Perhaps it's both-a paradox wrapped in binary code."

Who talks like that? I don't.

Personal expression aside, what can we believe? Hellman's is better than or the same as Best Food's? The Cubs will win the World Series? Just because you read those things, does that make them "true?" The truth is ultimately what you say it is. Don't be too quick to give that away.

Managing Editor's Note to A.I.: Ian Happ plays left field, not centerfield, for the Cubs.