Let's Talk About...Cell Phones

Ok. We all love our phones. We don't go anywhere without them. We can hardly leave a room without taking our phones with us.

We text, get our news, play games, share Instagram stories, and regularly go down the TikTok rabbit hole on our phones. Where we used to have an encyclopedia, now we have Wikipedia and all that Google has to offer. We take pictures and videos with abandon. You can just as easily make a hotel reservation in Tokyo as you can call your mom.

We are all oddly attached to our phones. Even jacket and pants pockets are now made bigger to accommodate a giant 7.6-inch Samsung Galaxy Z Fold6 or the iPhone 16 Pro Max. There is even something called Phone Pinky which is where your pinky has developed a dent or callus because you are resting your phone on it for hours every day.

If you have Phone Pinky, you might want to give that some thought.

But at what point does this amazing modern convenience and, dare I say, companion, become a problem? Crowded spaces come to mind.

I was recently at the airport listening to phones "going off" where I learned all about the trouble the woman sitting next to me was having with her roof. Apparently, a call to her husband and then to the roofing company, couldn't wait. So, the waiting area learned all about her hail damage, the insurance company's attitude ("despicable after all these years of paying premiums"), her personal schedule, and her annoyance with her husband's lack of involvement. You have all been there.

The same thing happens at restaurants, on buses, in line at the grocery store, and anywhere there is a concentration of people who can't escape.

It's not the talking that is the problem, it is the volume of the talking. If you were speaking to your companion at the airport, most likely all the other passengers wouldn't be able to hear the details because you probably would speak in naturally lower tones. But put a phone in someone's hands and the decibel level rises by 200%.

Have people forgotten common courtesy? Do they not respect that others' comfort is as valuable as their own?

It's not just talking on your phone that is the issue. It is the constant use of cell phones. Nowhere is that more evident than at school, at a shared meal, and at business meetings.

Let's start with school. Many schools have banned cell phones during class while some teachers prefer to allow students to use their phones but tell them they are still responsible for all the content of the lesson.

I think the latter misses the point. The lesson is respect. When someone is texting their friends during class, the message is that the class is boring, and that texting or playing Subway Surfers is more important than the teacher's time. Teachers cannot engage their students if their students' minds are elsewhere.

And let's just face it, looking at your phone during class is just plain rude and disrespectful.

Just the presence of your cell phone at the dinner (or lunch or breakfast) table sends a similar message. In other words, something else is more important than the person across from you.

When you look at your phone at the table, your companion immediately knows where they rank on your priority list.

Do you really need to look at phone notifications such as "Cyclops has challenged you to a game of Boggle?" Do we really need to glance down to see that you just missed a potential spam call? "Dinner for two" should not include uninvited cyber-guests.

Put it away. Even if it is turned over, if it is still on the table, it means what your phone has to say might be more important than the conversation you are having.

What about business meetings? Nothing says "you are wasting my time, and you are boring" louder than playing Candy Crush during a meeting. In other words, "what you have to say is unimportant to me. I have no respect for you."

Is that what you are really trying to say in any of these examples? Probably not intentionally, but the message is still loud and clear.

As much as our joined-at-the-hip phones have the power to bring us closer together, they also have the power to pull us apart.

Go ahead, use your phone, but still call your mom.