Let's Talk About...Too Good to be True

Ok. You know what is not ok? When you fall for one of those ubiquitous "loss leaders" without knowing what you are getting into.

You know how it goes. You can't believe your good luck when you are offered a subscription for $1 for a year or a two-for-one deal you just can't pass up? Let me warn you, my friend, if it seems like you can't pass it up, you can.

These "deals" are like a shiny penny that once grabbed, turns into a dark pouncing piece of stealth.

Let me give you a couple of examples.

I have an ongoing battle with a certain music subscription service. I like music. It is something I surround myself with regularly. So, I subscribe to music I can play in my car, home, phone, wherever. But here is how this dance goes.

I get a year's subscription for $4.99 a month. I put the end date in my calendar so I can cancel before it jumps to $24.95 a month without warning at the end of the year.

Predictably, I often miss that cancellation date until I have spent an extra $59.88 (three months). There goes my savings.

I then spend an hour on the phone trying to cancel my subscription. They, of course, offer me all kinds of "deals" if I don't cancel. I reject them all until they get back to the original deal. Predictably, I take it. It is an exhausting waste of time.

Why do we have to jump through these crazy hoops? Just give me what you originally offered.

I have a newspaper subscription for $1 for a year, which then jumps to $29.99 a month if I am not paying attention. When that happens, do you feel a little duped? I know I do.

By the way, $29.99 doesn't fool anybody. That is a pretty solid $30.

Remember the Columbia House Record Club where you could buy 10 albums for a penny? You could tape a penny to the postcard with your selections and get the albums in the mail. Of course, most customers were teenagers who never purchased the required full priced albums and ended up being sent to a collection agency. That made buying that first car or home a mess.

The worst offender is razor companies. You know what I am talking about. You can buy a razor for $4.29. A reasonably good one too.

But we all know a razor is worthless without blades. And so do the razor companies.

You guessed it. You go to get a pack of five blades made only for your $4.29 razor. $47.99 later, you are wondering what happened. And razor blades are apparently so valuable, most supermarkets lock them up. Perplexing.

Similarly, two jars of $27.99 multivitamins for the price of one is still $27.99. That seems steep. And let's face it, Two-for-one is really just the same as half off. So just say, "half off."

Now let's get to the leader of loss-leaders. Yes, I am talking about Costco and its progeny.

You already know how I feel about Costco. Despite vowing to only buy paper towels, I inevitably come out of the store with $400 worth of solar lights, a heated dog bed, a 12-pack of T-shirts, 30 rolls of toilet paper, patio cushions, and maybe a new television on top of that.

Who knew I needed all those things? Costco did.

It is not by accident that Costco put those favorite items like paper towels in the back of the store so you have to walk all the way through, looking at shiny pennies.

One popular Costco staple is the $1.50 hot dog deal. You know the one.

For $1.50, you get a ¼-pound hot dog, bun, condiments and a 20 oz. soda. As my friend Mark would say, "You would be losing money if you didn't buy it."

Assuming that you like hot dogs and soda, it is undoubtedly one of the best deals around.

But who can go to Costco and only buy a hot dog? You know that is almost impossible. And so does Costco.

Same goes for that $4.99 rotisserie chicken. That bird keeps us coming back.

Yes, we know we are supposed to be smart about these things. But retailers are smarter. How many times are you in the checkout line and miraculously remember you really need to buy some gum, super glue, a bottle of mocha latte, mints, and magazines? That two-for-one savings you just picked up just vanished.

When something is too good to be true, it usually is.